Must My Wannabe Content Creator Pal Cease Using Me for Material?

The Prosecution: Beth

At times she films me while I’m eating. It's jarring to spot myself on her Instagram – it feels like a sudden shock.

A close companion of a decade, she, labels herself the “content queen”. It’s fun for a short while, but it strains our friendship.

Being highly outgoing, there's a constant urge the need to document everything constantly. During meals out, she says, “The camera eats first,” and snaps pictures with bright lighting, which induces embarrassment. It's unpleasant when strangers see her performing for the camera – I experience secondhand embarrassment. It also frustrates me because the food gets cold.

She isn’t exactly an online personality yet, but she is aspiring to become one. She makes video blogs about city life, her daily routine, and her styling career. The material is quality, credit where it's due, but I prefer not to be dragged into it. Sometimes I'm captured while I’m eating, or simply tagging along. I’ll see myself on her Instagram afterwards, and it comes like a jumpscare: I might be no makeup on, an awkward face or be captured while eating. It feels invasive.

She also anticipates that I will to record her at inopportune moments. Often I’ll be talking to another person, or we're simply spending time in the street. The dynamic feels like our friendship has transformed into me being her free crew. She has the means to employ someone if she wanted professional shots. Upon mentioning my unease about the situation, she brushed it off. I've been invited to several industry functions, which were appreciated, but that doesn’t make up for all the energy I spend assisting her create material.

I appreciate that Marielle has helped me with my career in design, but I don’t want our connection to become merely a tally of exchanges. I don’t feel she’s fake or dishonest, but sometimes it seems that if the camera is out, we will begin acting in a way that makes us look good for her vlog.

She will say, “OK, look happy!” and film me laughing with another. It feels forced. It's crucial her to understand that our 10-year friendship still has boundaries. I love spending time with her, but I also desire to experience it without being filmed, edited, or shared for an viewers. I am not a prop for her online persona.

The Defence: The Content Creator's View

I hope Beth to see that the creations we make together can get us a foot in the door.

I am passionate about shooting content. It's more than a hobby; it’s part of who I am. Producing content and documenting experiences online allows me to express myself and connect with people in new ways.

I don’t see myself as a professional creator yet, but it's savvy to make money from your interests. I admire people on TikTok who execute that aesthetic of casual, DIY film-making.

Content creation is my interpretation of engaging with life: noticing the details, posting them with an audience that appreciates the craft behind it. I never intend to make Beth uneasy. Bringing her to industry events was my method of offering access, giving her a opportunity to witness behind-the-scenes moments that could help her career in design too. That’s not blackmail, it’s just being realistic.

I’d still take her to these events even if she refused to assist me, but I want her to see what the work we make together can get us: an opening. I know not everyone likes being on camera, but sometimes spontaneity is what makes content authentic. Being recorded occasionally is part and parcel of being my companion. I would delete anything she asked, but she hasn't made such a request yet.

I don’t expect anyone to be my personal videographer, but friends support one another in small ways. My assumption was recording a short video here or there would be fun for her. Creativity flourishes in partnership, and having my friend around makes projects lively and enjoyable. I never force her to participate in anything, and I’d never deliberately embarrass her. But creating content jointly sometimes is part of how I document our time together.

I cherish Beth’s friendship profoundly and don’t want content creation to drive a wedge between us. I’m willing to find middle ground: like asking before recording, and avoiding angles that might make her uncomfortable.

This isn’t about power, it’s about expressing my perspective while still respecting hers. Obviously making content is not a replacement for real connection: it's merely part of how I experience life and I desire her to be involved in a way that’s agreeable for both of us.

Outside Perspectives: Reader Opinions

Is it right for her to stop recording herself and her friend when they are socializing?

There’s nothing more excruciating than having a companion point a camera at you. I get that it’s Marielle’s passion, but I wouldn't ask friends come to my work. Perhaps she can find like-minded creators to collaborate with. With the dark, looming future of technology, human connections are the only thing we have – don’t waste them!
A respondent, 25

When pursuing something professionally, you can’t ask your friends for help repeatedly, even if they have done it before. If Marielle loves shooting, that doesn’t mean everyone around her is willing material. She needs to honor her friend's privacy.
Ankit, 26

Marielle might love making content and showing off her life publicly, but it’s not for everybody. It was kind she has assisted her friend professionally, but she must to listen to what Beth wants.
Emma, 27

It seems like you value each other, so cling to that and make sure it’s the priority in your friendship. Create some authentic experiences, where true emotions are preserved, not online archives. Even public figures who seem to reveal their worlds actually have more secrecy than it seems.
One opinion, 53

She seems to be neither present nor authentic when she’s with Beth – she’s working. Both seem unsure as to what’s reasonable. The answer is not found in trying to change one another, but in each setting clear limits around what feels acceptable to them and seeing if there is an mutually agreeable compromise.
Barbara, 71

Now You Be the Judge

In an online poll: has she been over-exposing their friendship?